Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Being a Sex Object isn't Sexy

Watch this compelling TEDxYouth video where Caroline Heldman explains how women and girls being treated and seeing themselves as sexual objects is damaging in many ways, including diminished sexual pleasure. Sexual objectification - which she defines as "A key process whereby girls (and women) learn to think and treat their bodies as objects of others' desires" can lead to depression, eating disorders, body shame, lower GPA, and competitiveness with other females. 

Girls and women are especially susceptible to the influence of objectification today because images in the media are rampant, and we all consume a lot more media and advertising than we used to. Objectifying ads aren't subtle - take this ad for example, which seems to say the reward for being a stylishly dressed woman means you get gang raped by handsome men, instead of plain old ugly ones. This is just sickening.

I think it's important that women take care of their health and appearance - but to please and take pride in themselves, not to become objects for male pleasure. Anyway, watch the TEDx video, above. It will make you take a new look at advertising and television. It made me realize why I've been disturbed by the opening sequence of HBO's True Detective - it's filled with objectifying images of naked women.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Beyonce urges women to own their sexuality. I agree.

Beyonce - Montreal 2013 (3) crop.jpg
Image via Wikipedia
In a recent interview, megastar Beyonce Knowles discusses the power of women owning their sexuality.
“There is unbelievable power in ownership, and women should own their sexuality,” she wrote. “There is a double standard when it comes to sexuality that still persists. Men are free and women are not. That is crazy. The old lessons of submissiveness and fragility made us victims.”
She said women can be everything they aspire to be “and still be a sexual being. It’s not mutually exclusive.”  Read the full story at ABC News.
I totally agree with Beyonce. For ages, we women have been taught to feel ashamed of our bodies, deny our sexual urges, and discount our desires. Living in conflict with our feminine nature makes us feel wrong and guilty and keeps us small. Luckily, we live in a country and an era where these attitudes are changing. I think the most empowered women honor and celebrate their sexuality. Women who accept themselves, love their bodies, and pursue pleasure are fired up! They have so much to offer to the rest of the world because they are comfortable with themselves and feel worthy and engaged.
That's why I write my Sex & the Suburbs column. Not only to help women enjoy sex; but to encourage women enjoy their whole lives! Knowing you deserve love and pleasure and taking the responsibility to give it to yourself is a high form of self respect and empowerment. 
So rock on Queen Bee. With a net worth of over $350 million, owning your sexuality is certainly working for you.