Friday, November 20, 2015

Are You a Good Wife?

I bought a few books at Target this week (I love browsing Target's book section - more manageable than a book store and always full of fun titles.) Yesterday I reported on how inspired I was by Yoga Girl Rachel Brathen, but today I am simply inspired by the the title of a novel I haven't even read yet - How to Be a Good Wife by Emma Chapman.

"How to be a good wife - what the hell is that?" I wondered. What an antiquated notion. It seems  anti-feminist for a modern woman to aspire to be a "good wife."

But wait. I've been married to my husband for 24 years and my marriage is incredibly important to me, so I DO want to be a good wife. For those of us with kids, we definitely want to be good moms. The women I know put lot of effort into learning parenting skills and are constantly angst-ing over how well they're rearing their kids.  Shouldn't being a good wife be just as important?

I firmly believe that strong relationships don't just happen; they require attention and effort to thrive. But exactly what does it mean to be a good wife?  I write about sex and relationships professionally so I have a lot of research to fall back on. But every relationship is unique so I have to know what works in mine.

For something new (and because I have some time on my hands) I decided to explore the subject with markers. I'm not much of an artist, but I am a super doodler. And I love putting words on paper. Voila! Here's my Good Wife Doodle - listing all the things I think make me a good partner in my relationship.

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The major categories are Communicate, Be Happy, Show Appreciation, Be Affectionate, Look Good, Allow Space & Change, Organize Fun Things to Do, Hang in There, Demand Equality and, of course, Marry a Good Guy.

I'm sure I've missed a few things - I plan to consult my man over the weekend for his feedback. But I thought I'd put it out there and ask YOU. Is it important to you to be a good wife? How do you do it? And by the way, I realize a marriage is a reciprocal arrangement. It's hard to be a good wife if you're married to a schmuck.  So I'd also like to hear what makes for a good husband. Is the list the same or different?

I have so many questions!  And here comes the snow, so I guess I have plenty of time to explore them. And actually read that How to be a Good Wife book.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Inspired by 26 year-old Yoga Girl

Usually I look to women who are older than me for wisdom and advice, but today I find myself inspired by Rachel Brathen, a woman who is literally half my age. Rachel is a social media sensation who first gained popularity on Instagram with  gorgeous photos of herself in yoga poses on the beaches of Aruba.  I picked up a copy of her book, Yoga Girl, at Target yesterday because I want to educate myself on the correct form and purpose of the poses I've been attempting in class.

The book, like Rachel herself, is beautiful in many ways. Yes the photos of her yoga poses are incredible (will I ever be able to do those flying headstands on the floor, much less balancing on a paddle board?) But what's really uplifting are her beliefs, such as - focus on being happy and you'll naturally do the right thing for your body, love yourself the way you are, do no harm but take no shit. Through her words and photos, Rachel radiates a sunny, accepting, positive energy and damn it, I want to be like her!

Whether you're into yoga or not, Rachel Brathen's recent Ted talk titled "Lessons I've Learned Social Media," below, is fascinating. She truly sees social media as a vehicle to build community and bring about positive change in the world.

I'm heading to a yoga class later this afternoon, feeling excited about continuing my fledgling practice of an ancient art which nurtures body, mind, and soul (and fires up your sexuality too.) But I'm also excited that I have found another woman I admire. Regardless of age, we all have so much to learn from one another!

For more on my yogic experiences, read my Sex & the Suburbs column 7 Ways Yoga Makes You Sexy over at

Peace out sisters.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Round up of my Latest Sex Stories

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I'm still writing my Sex & the Suburbs column for Make it Better magazine but I realized I haven't shared these spicy stories here at Ripe Peach. Living life to the fullest means cultivating juicy, satisfying relationships. Here's some support and motivation to keep your romance in bloom.

Click on the titles to read the full stories over at MIB.

North Shore Cougar Karen Poter Tells Women How to Make the Most of MidLife 
Karen transformed herself through tragedy into a "powerhouse." Now this self proclaimed cougar has a popular sexy youtube channel and a hot younger boyfriend. She'll inspire you!

Could a Contract Make Your Marriage Happier?
It may not sound romantic to put your relationship through negotiation, but coming to terms with your partner may make you both happier than ever.

Scientific Secrets for Better Sex
How come you never feel like having sex until after you start fooling around? Why does your body do one thing while your brain does another? Are you normal? The latest sex science provides some surprising and reassuring answers.

Where's the Viagra for Women?
After years of watching those ads for Viagra and Cialis for dudes, I had to ask - where are the similar drugs for women? After all, we deserve good sex too. Good news! Help is on the horizon.

Sex After Kids - 4 Ways to Make it Happen
Children are wonderful but they sure put a damper on their parents' love lives. Get around the no sleep/no privacy/no time/no energy conundrum with these savvy tips.

How to Be a Better Date
Whether you're single or coupled, these expert tips will help you have more fun,  be a more charming companion AND get the relationship you want.

7 Things Women Should Know About Divorce Before Getting One
Sadly, not all marriages last.  If you're considering divorce, this story will help you prepare for the realities of uncoupling.

And up next, I'm investigating the issue of Female Sexual Fluidity. Are all of us a bit bi-sexual? I'll do some digging and report back.